I mean, body language & listening skills. Duhh. :)

Nowadays, not only adolescents (mind you) but adults too have a problem with getting their body language right and perfect their listening skills.

Many people go wrong with this coordination, and unfortunately when it goes wrong misunderstandings are bound to occur that sometimes lead to unwanted arguments. Hence, losing friends.

Firstly, listening. It is a mirror image of expressive skills. They are the skills needed to help the other person make a clear and unthreatening statement of his/her own position.

You should...

• Give the other person your attention; this is where body language comes in critically. Talk about that later in the post.
  
• Listen for understanding; show interest. Its hard to show that you're interested therefore, body language is very important here too.
  
• Let the other person know what you think they said; in other words: feedback.
  

Listening skills are in most respects a little harder than expressive skills (body language). One reason for this is that they depend upon a foundation of emotional skills. It is hard to place yourself one hundred per cent at the other person's disposal when you are under threat.

Yet this is what good listening requires. It is listening for understanding, not listening for ammunition (a different listening style), and not mentally rehearsing your next statement.

So, to give full attention to one person requires body language. Some examples of gestures and their meanings (below) would do sufficient explanation on what this whole talk of body language is about.

Gesture: Brisk, erect walk
Meaning: Confidence

Gesture: Standing with hands on hips
Meaning: Readiness, aggression

Gesture: Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly
Meaning: Boredom

Gesture: Sitting, legs apart
Meaning: Open, relaxed

Gesture: Arms crossed on chest
Meaning: Defensiveness

Gesture: Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched
Meaning: Dejection

Gesture: Hand to cheek
Meaning: Evaluation, thinking

Gesture: Touching, slightly rubbing nose
Meaning: Rejection, doubt, lying

Gesture: Rubbing the eye
Meaning: Doubt, disbelief

Gesture: Hands clasped behind back
Meaning: Anger, frustration, apprehension

Gesture: Locked ankles
Meaning: Apprehension

Gesture: Head resting in hand, eyes downcast
Meaning: Boredom

Gesture: Rubbing hands
Meaning: Anticipation

Gesture: Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed
Meaning: Confidence, superiority

Gesture: Open palm
Meaning: Sincerity, openness, innocence

Gesture: Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed
Meaning: Negative evaluation

Gesture: Tapping or drumming fingers
Meaning: Impatience

Gesture: Steepling fingers
Meaning: Authoritative

Gesture: Patting/fondling hair
Meaning: Lack of self-confidence; insecurity

Gesture: Quickly tilted head
Meaning: Interest

Gesture: Stroking chin
Meaning: Trying to make a decision

Gesture: Looking down, face turned away
Meaning: Disbelief

Gesture: Biting nails
Meaning: Insecurity, nervousness

Gesture: Pulling or tugging at ear
Meaning: Indecision

Gesture: Prolonged tilted head
Meaning: Boredom

References:

http://listverse.com/miscellaneous/25-examples-of-body-language/

JcqV.