Continuing from my previous post about white lies.

White lies are usually lies that cause no harm. White lie or not..it is still consider a LIE! but in communication telling a white lie MAYBE important. One reason of course is for face-saving purposes, no one person in this world would want to be totally humiliated. Second is usually told to avoid disagreements and arguments.
Example: When a girl asked how she looks in whatever that she is wearing, normally guys would just say it looks nice or good even if it really doesn't. As most girls take their appearance really seriously and guys being guys would just wanna avoid conflict.

Next, when its concerning children, parents would use white lies to cover up certain topics that the children shouldn't learn to know about yet.
Example: When a child ask "Where do babies come from?" or "Where is God?"

Well lie in general are of course BAD. Ever heard the saying, "Honesty is the best policy"? Though in general, society would want to believe that is true,but they still lie!

"Research from social psychology suggests as many as one third of typical daily interactions involve some form of deception. This can be defined as a “deliberate attempt, without forewarning, to create in another a belief which the communicator considers to be untrue.” DePaulo and her colleagues, for example, have observed that university students report telling about two lies a day, while non-student populations report about one a day.The types of lies observed in these studies vary, from small “white” lies, in which inconsequential lies are told to be tactful or polite (such as saying “I love your haircut” when in fact you do not), to more serious lies (such as denying an affair)."

So whats does that tell you about the people around you? Haha. Unexpected would be the word isn't it?

In this so called modern era, with the presence to telecommunication technology, we now not only communicate face-to-face, but also through phone calls, emails, instant messaging and many more. Do you think with the presence of this technology, society would lie even more or find it easier to lie?

According to the same research, yes! "Although the total number of lies was greatest in the face-to-face setting, the highest proportion of lies occurred in telephone conversations, with 37 per cent of phone interactions involving some deception, significantly higher than lies in face-to-face conversations (27 per cent)."

So people, if you think your friends/family/business partner don't lie on a daily basis. THINK AGAIN! :P

Reference:
1) Jeff Hancock, Jennifer Thom-Santelli and Thompson Ritchie, 2004, We are more likely to lie over the phone than in an email, online, retrieved on 27th September 2008, from http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=2363

I’m Indian. And Chinese. You? European? Porutgese? African? Chinese? Indian? Malay? Thai? Indonesian? Sarawakian? Sabahan?

Unfortunately, ‘being one’ just won’t cut it.

NOT.

We can’t help it, but culture does influence a relationship. In a good way, of course.

You probably wouldn’t want to date me because I’m Indian. And. Or. Chinese.
Why?
You probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me because I’m Indian. And. Or. Chinese.
Why?
You probably want to date me because I’m Indian. And. Or. Chinese.
Why?
You probably want to be my friend because I’m Indian. And. Or Chinese.
Why?

Everything has a reason to it. Ever wondered that we all could actually ‘be one’ if we put a stop to unnecessary judgments and bias (?)

If we stop looking down on a certain culture, race, and religion for once, don’t you think negative culture influence would just diminish?

Wouldn’t life be bliss then?

Expectations of and from a particular culture would be non-existent.
Through that, only positive expressions would be expressed all over the world.

Ever had the thought that you could make a difference in the world by initiating an attribute? Say, maybe, you could initiate the act of antiracism amongst your friends?

Distance between people due to culture would be absent.

My mom is Chinese. She married an Indian man. Uh-oh.
Too bad they’re 21 years late; they bred two Chindian kids already.

My best friend is an offspring of a Chinese mom and Eurasian dad.

My LAN group consists of two Malays, two Indians, one Euranese and one Chindian.

My Psychology assignment group consists of one Punjabi boy, one Chinese boy, one Malay girl and me, a Chindian girl. We’re doing a paper on discrimination of race.

Talk about muhibah. Talk about antiracism. Talk about initiation.

The works of peace is love working over time. :)

JcqV

You changed my life,
You cleaned me up,
You found my heart,
You pulled me up.

You’re everything I’m not,
You’re an angel,
It’s amazing how you’re patient
Even more at times, I’m not.

You’re my conscience.

Slightly reworded.
Nothing inverted.

Just thought I’d share this poem written by someone very dear to me.

First impressions are unconsciously important & the most common non-verbal communication that takes place everyday of our lives.

Deception. Unimportant but still very common. Verbal.

Gossip comes right after. Definitely verbal.


I see you everyday and I think:
He’s perfect,
He has beautiful eyes and stands tall with confidence,
The wide smile suits his handsome face just nicely,
He’s perfect.

You impress me. You attract me. You arouse me.

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything that you need…

Then, you shower me with truckloads of deception.
And, unknowingly, I’m just loving every word you say.

Girl, you gotta be treated as one of a kind,
Use your mind,
Don’t be just another dime.
I can’t take seeing you with him,
Cause I know exactly what you’ll be:
Another priceless work of art,
In his gallery.

Finally, I have to find out that they talk.
They pierce. They stab.
They care.

You don’t. You never did. You never will.

Judgment comes last. Verbal or not, it exists.

Too bad, I am motivated not to care what people think of me as much anymore. :)

Lyrics : Truly, madly, deeply – Savage Garden
Gallery – Mario Vasquez

JcqV.

So yesterday, 23th September 2008, HMC celebrated its 4th Anniversary, so to say. So the HMC Student Council threw a Birthday Bash in order to celebrate it.

Yesterday was quite a whirlwind for me as there were quite a number of events that took place which i had to deal with and I'm gonna try my best to relate them to human com.

First off, The 'Talk'. As we all know woman and man are very different when it comes to communicating. The day before yesterday, i said a few things to a person (i shall not name) with an intention to just clear things up and getting my feelings and thoughts out. Little did i know, the person had actually misinterpreted my intention and also misunderstood some of the things i brought up. (Which tell us that not all communication is good, and conflict may occur even when we didn't mean for it to happen). Anyways, the next day, which was yesterday, we talked it out and resolve the misunderstanding without much drama. We may have use direct and indirect aggression to deal with it but its all good though i would admit it wasn't a win-win situation.

During Bday Bash, of course performances was what everyone was looking forward to. So come this dance group, which in my opinion perform just okay but that's not the end of it. One of the girl performer had really dressed inappropriate which cause many many different reaction from the crowd as she dance and 'inappropriate parts of her body was being revealed too much'. Now most of us there dont know her personally, and im very sure almost all of us just started judging her. I mean it's human nature to do so. So for you who were there? What was your impression of her? What kind of person do you think she is? I personally thought that she didnt know how to feel ashamed and other stuff i wont mention :P (Now, this shows how even your clothing can be used by other people to create an impression of you, part of non-verbal communication. So knowing this, people, learn ur lesson! and dress well and as deem appropriate though this may vary depending on your environment, the culture you live in and many more) Leaving this topic with a clip of an article i found:
'More than half of a first impression is affected by appearance - clothes, make-up, body language, gestures and facial expressions,' said Mahena Stief, a business psychologist in Munich.

Next, how many of us can admit we tend to tell white lies from time to time? Well, I can. Cause well, its true.(We usually tell white lies for the intention of face-saving). So, as the Bday bash was ending, I had 'a moment', and i started crying for reasons i wont disclose. Well of course i had my 2 friends sat there and comfort me through it. As we were sitting as the corner, a few people noticed and approach us asking why. And thinking as quickly as possible, Dila replied "Her back hurts". Haha. Smart move. Well my back did hurt like a few minutes before that, but its definitely not the reason as to why i cried. Well i guess, you can kindda consider that face saving, cause i definitely did not want other poeple knowing the real reason i cried. But I'm fine now.

To add, i just got to say thanks Dila and Tarra for being there for me that night and told a little white lie to save! me..and not forgetting Jeremy too for comforting me. I love ya'll!

All in all, yesterday was a pretty god day considering all that had happen and of course not to my surprise we can relate pretty much anything to the chapters we study in Human Com.

Reference:
1) Eva Numann, 2006, First Impression Counts;Apperance Must Match Personality, online, retrieved on 24th September 2008, from http://www.monstersandcritics.com/lifestyle/life/features/article_1237306.php/First_impressions_count_appearance_must_match_personality

This is my first post; one down, three to go.
What a drag.

I do not know what to write about, really. In fact, I'm writing this post right now without a title.

I mean, blogging by itself is purely communication even if we're writing nothing whatsoever about communication. I'm writing, and you're reading this. This is what I think, and you, whether you agree with whatever i say or not, are still reading this. Unless, of course, you don't have a heart and hate me so much, you'd just exit this window and turn your PC off. :)

After 4 hours...

I want to park my car at the peak of that mountain. I want to let the oncoming traffic know that I have stopped to park. When I'm ready to drive, I want to ride in my car with only one other passenger and drive on a one way street. May the street be bumpy and filled with potholes, or smooth. I just want to drive away with my one passenger all the way til the road has to come to an end organically.

Why don't boys understand? Right, Megan?
I've got a title for my post now. Thanks, Vick.

JcqV.

Interpersonal Communication as define before is the communication between 2 people (dyad).

The communication style between the 2 people would differ to the type of interpersonal relationship they have. This is so as they have different levels of intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of common ground, and may be centered around something(s) shared in common.

• Friendship: emphasize the concept of friendship as a freely chosen association (communication will be more open, friendly)
  
• Acquaintance (less open and friendly compared to when talking with friends)
  
• Family: communication patterns establish roles, identities and enable the growth of individuals.(can be more or less open depending ones relationship with the family)
• Professional Relationship (Co-worker, Boss) (talk with a level of respect, standard and more organized)
  
• Romantic defined in terms of the concepts of passion, intimacy and commitment.(conversations are more intimate, comfortable depending on the couple's communication level)
  

Posted by David FG on May 08, 2005

In Reply to: Re: Talk nonsense posted by Bruce Kahl on May 08, 2005

: : : Can you give me a list of idioms that means to talk nonsense?

: : A bunch of crap
: : A load of cobblers
: : A load of codswallop
: : A load of crap
: : A load of rubbish
: : A pack of lies
: : All my eye and Betty Martin
: : Garbage in, garbage out
: : Give me a break
: : Horse feathers
: : It's all Greek to me
: : More money than sense
: : Mumbo jumbo
: : Oh, that way madness lies
: : Sheer madness
: : Stuff and nonsense
: : Talk through your hat
: : There's method in my madness
: : This is very midsummer madness
: : What a crock of shit

Haha! I just found it funny(at that moment) and pretty interesting. Now brush up on your idioms for your English essay or something. :P To related it to human com, a few lectures back we were talking about language, and how English is one weird language which can be very confusing at times.

Reference:

1) Terence A, Doyle, 2005, Types of Interpersonal Relationship, online, retrieved 22 September 2008, from http://novaonline.nv.cc.va.us/eli/spd110td/interper/relations/relations.html

2) David FG, 2005, The Phrase Finder, online, retrieved 22 September 2008, from http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/41/messages/547.html

~Ash~

Do you think there is a difference between hearing and listening?
well,there is!
Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by the ear.
If you are not hearing-impaired, hearing simply happens.
Listening, however, is something you consciously choose to do. it requires concentration so that your brain processes meaning from words to sentences.
listening leads to learning.
Most people tend to be "hard of listening" rather than "hard of hearing."

here is a story.

mary and tom always talk.
they hear differently.
the filters they have from the experiences in their lives are very different. mary goes into an automatic mode when they talk sometimes, so she hear what she expects to or she interpret it as if it they speak different languages.
mary usually hear things as a negative about
Last night the doctor’s office called regarding the results of tom's MRI. The nurse told him to stay off his leg and they could have a wheelchair available when he arrives. Mary interpreted that and stated “there must be something that needs to be fixed”. tom heard ger said “there must be something really wrong”. I guess since they are just humans, we won’t listen. we would focus on think about what we are hearing to determine if we are really listening.
-marcia-